why we need failure

and why we will always fail

planning doesn’t always mean directing. failing does. and I don’t mean failing at something in particular, but rather those moments when things go off-plan, like the small things we cannot control.

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a bitter word from someone we love. a broken heart. a ruined friendship.

like all of us, i’ve been in those places, and in the end, i always come to understand. i see the greater reason: each of these events carries me into a new world. a world full of possibilities and new opportunities. a world where everything is still waiting to be discovered. and, of course, a world where everything can still be ruined.

if we stop to think about it, this becomes clear: the more comfortable we are with where we stand, the less we move.

and why would we remain still for the rest of our lives? just to live in comfort?

comfort soon turns into discomfort.

and so, we evolve. we learn. we keep walking.

but what is the destination? that is a question i cannot yet answer. i am not wise enough, as i am still navigating the first year of my twenties. i’m not sure if i will ever be wise, or if anyone truly is.

i only know that it makes sense to walk crooked paths.

despite all the pain, they reward us with a better life.

and at the risk of falling into cliché: “there is always a rainbow after the rain.”

i’ll admit i was never a fan of that quote. it was always said to me at the most inconvenient moments. when we are in the middle of the storm, any possibility of hope feels like a nightmare, because we cannot see it; we can only imagine.

honestly, i don’t know what changed in me. perhaps i grew after a few storms. but i understand what people mean by it now, and i no longer feel irritated when i hear it.

letting go is hard, that’s true. but holding on is even harder. and so, when we let go, the best things begin to happen.

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now, i don’t expect everyone who is reading this to be mystical, but please let me share something that comes to mind as i write: in the world of tarot, the cards are divided into major and minor arcana. in the major arcana, we find patterns, known as archetypes. and then, after sixteen cards, there is the tower, where everything collapses, breaks, and falls. at first, when I began learning the meanings of the cards, it frightened me whenever this arcana appeared. it is not kind. yet now, i feel relief when it shows up, especially when I am already at rock bottom. for even in destruction, the tower comes to build something new. and that brings me comfort, because when i have nothing, when nothing is right, i know something is coming.

some might argue and say this is a negative way of seeing life, but i think it’s the opposite. for me, each disappointment is a step forward, like a map guiding us toward a new destination.